HUMANS FEEL

“When you miss your family and past love, and you try to surround yourself with things and people and activities that make you happy. Almost to the point where you want to forget how it really feels to miss someone you love so much.

You try to focus on school and study and not let your focus differ from what you’re trying to achieve.

It’s unfortunately way too hard to achieve.

So ultimately, you decide to pick up a pen (one that you like to write with, because let’s be honest, you hate writing, mostly because you think you’re not too good at it) and you write down your thoughts, emotions, and feelings.

Pain, weakness, want, desire, love, numbness, grief, some regret.

Except confusingly enough, you also feel emotions of love in a positive light.

Love in passion for art.

Love in foreseeing a possibly successful career.

Love in the moment of pure independence.

You stop to think…

What is life?

What am I truly living and breathing for?

Or rather, who am I living for?

Is there a who?

You can’t shake the feeling that there still might be hope for change…hope for another chance. You feel silly and defeated for even having the thought of it. But in reality you think, that if you really want something, you are a true fighter and firm believer of getting what you want.

You attempt to get what you want, but are instantly shot down. You do a few things/people…to get over it, to move past it…hoping you won’t feel that pain and that gaping hole that’s punched in your heart.

It doesn’t work.

Humans feel, and I’m human.

So I sit here, with tears rolling down my face, feeling alone.

Lost.”